Hi, Steve Kirsh here with the answer to today’s adoption question. Unfortunately, my dog Yogi is busy sleeping, so I am going to answer this one on my own. The question is: “What are the requirements to adopt?”
And the answer is, there are really a couple of different requirements. The first one is the legal one. In order to file a petition for adoption and receive an adoptive placement of a child you have to have a home study done by a licensed child placing agency. That is the law in Indiana.
The second requirement to adopt, at least in the Kirsh & Kirsh adoption practice, is that we have to believe you have a reasonable chance of success, and by that I mean, we must believe that an expectant mother or birth mother will choose you as prospective adoptive parents, so, how do we know then? How do we, as prospective adoptive parents know if we are going to get chosen? The answer is to try and put yourself in her shoes.
Understand that a woman that is considering an adoption plan for her baby loves her baby dearly and is trying to provide her child a life and future and opportunities that she can’t at that moment provide. And it is not just material things, it is not just things that money can buy. Its a life. So, a couple, a younger couple, who is energetic, and vivacious, and outgoing, is going to be more appealing to a birth mother, than a couple in their 50’s.
Certainly a couple in their 50’s certainly has greater individual and marital maturity than a younger couple. But, most expectant moms want a couple that will be able to chase after the kids, and to care for them energetically, not just when the child is a newborn, but when the child is 5, 10, 15 years old. I can tell you as a parent of children who are in their 30’s, some of them, one of them, in their late 30’s, that my wife and I are still not finished parenting them. Now, we started when we were really young.
I can’t imagine being 87 years old right now and trying to parent a 37 year old. So, age is an important factor. Another important factor is the general feeling she has about the family. If they are fun, outgoing, nice, people, she is going to be more comfortable with them, and she is going to be able to see them as fun parents then more so then a more reserved, quiet family. A family with multiple biological children, although they have demonstrated, their ability to be parents, is certainly an advantage, it is also a disadvantage because a number of moms wants their child to be the center of attention. Or, at least one of two, or three children, not one of four, or five or six children.
So, in our practice at Kirsh & Kirsh, there are two requirements. One is that you pass a home study, which is required by statute, and the other is that we believe you have a reasonable chance of success as adoptive parents because we believe, in our experience, that an expectant mother, or birth mother, is going to choose you as adoptive parents.
I hope that is helpful, I am always here to answer other questions. Usually Yogi is to, but he has taken the day off. Thanks.