I just met with an expectant mom recently. We will call her “Amy” (not her real name). Amy’s family is not supportive of her adoption plan. They told her that because she is 22-years-old, she should be old enough to raise a baby. Amy asked me if I have many women her age who proceeded with adoptions. She thought most our birth mothers were teenagers. I explained that we have far more women who are older than 22 who make adoption plans, than younger than 22.
We have found that the older, more mature, more stable, better educated, and more forward thinking an expectant mother is, the more likely that she will proceed with an adoption plan. Amy said that sounded backwards to her and asked: “Didn’t you mean to say that those women are more likely to parent their babies?” I explained that the young, immature, poorly educated, unstable women are more likely to parent the child, than someone like her, who has a job and wants more for her child than she knows that she can provide at this moment in her life. I told Amy that given her circumstances, she probably could provide food and shelter for her child. She said that she wanted so much more than that for her child. She wanted her child to have opportunities and to really flourish in life, not just get by.
I do not know if Amy will ultimately proceed with placeing her child or not, but she typifies the expectant mom who is more likely than not to proceed with an adoption.