How Will I Feel After?| Video Transcript

 

•1.	PHOTO: Young woman looking contemplative GRAPHIC: How will I feel after?	Right now, you're probably feeling scared, confused, and worried. If you're considering an adoption plan for your baby, you undoubtedly wonder how you'll feel after you sign the consent for adoption.
•2.	Video Clip BM1-6 Title: Rhonda Birthmother	RHONDA: You don't carry the baby for nine months inside of your body and not be attached. I don't think that is humanly possible. That baby was a part of me for all those months and I was very much his mother while I was pregnant.
•3.	Video Clip BM2-9 Title: Jennie Birthmother	JENNIE: I just really prepared myself as much as I could. You don't know how it is going to hit you when you are going through it. You may think you have an idea, but you really don't. When I was in the hospital, I was there for two days and he was in the room with me every minute, but a couple when they had to take him away for a little testing. The nurses knew he had to be with me. Those 48 hours was my lifetime with him and I took advantage of every second.
•4.	Video Clip: BM3-6 Title: Sara Birthmother	SARA: When I gave birth, both of my parents were there which gave me an incredible amount of strength. They really helped get me through it. I chose not to see him right away. I didn't want emotions to overpower logic at that time. I waited to see him until after the papers were signed. Signing the papers had to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life because you spend all this time planning, you have this life inside you, you are with the adoptive family learning about them, and now, all of a sudden, in one fatal swoop, it is all gone. You are left empty with this incredible sense of loss. I don't know what I would have done had I not had my parents there to support me.
•5.	PHOTOs Pregnant young women in loving bond with her unborn child Add: Most difficult decision you may ever make	There are no two ways about it; you will go through a grieving and mourning process if you proceed with an adoption plan. It'll be the most difficult decision you'll ever make. But just because it's a difficult decision, it doesn't mean it's a bad one.
•6.	Video Clip BM3-6 Title: Sara Birthmother	SARA: It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Now, looking back through my life, I know it was just a beginning and not an ending. At that moment, it is pretty tough to think about it that way.
•7.	PHOTO: BM in counseling Add: Counseling to work through grief and emotions	Through counseling, which we make available for you if you wish, you'll be able to work through your grief and come to peace with your decision and realize that you made the best possible decision for your baby.
•8.	PHOTO collage of various new adoptive and loving parents	If you make an adoption plan, you are not abandoning or "giving away" your baby. Instead, you are giving your baby an opportunity to realize all of your dreams for it to be in a loving, secure home, with an assurance of a bright and happy future - and that's a very motherly thing to do.
•9.	Video Clip: BM1-6 Title: Rhonda Birthmother	RHONDA: I think Steve said to me, when he grows up and he learns about his adoption, you want him to think of his birth mother as somebody who got on with her life and turned it into something positive. You don't want him to know one day that it was his birth and your decision to be in the family that he is in now, that it destroyed you. I still remember that to this day.
•10.	Video Clip: BM1-6 Title: Rhonda Birthmother	RHONDA: There is life after adoption for the birth mothers - a very positive, a very happy life. However, it was a struggle to get through it. The turning point for me was his mom. I just wasn't getting over it at all. I don't mean getting over it in terms of being done with it, but in terms of really being able to function the way that I needed to. She agreed to talk with me over the telephone. It turned it completely around. She talked about him, about their family, about the joy that she felt after 11 years to finally be a mom or to have a baby, and her and her husband waited all of these years to have a family. I know she was a nervous wreck, but I couldn't even begin to tell you all the different things that she said, but I do remember very clearly the love in her voice. I knew right then I had done the right thing. He was happy, he was taken care of, he was safe, and I had to move on.
•11.	GRAPHIC: Kirsh & Kirsh logo 1-800-333-5736	And if you have any questions, please call us anytime, toll-free at 1-800-333-5736.
•12.	Video Clip: BM3-7 Title Sara Birthmother	SARA: Absolutely, adoption has been an incredible influence in my life. It allowed me to sit back and say, "Okay, I have made a decision for my son to give him the best life that he can have and that he deserves, so why wouldn't I give that to myself." I kind of turned my loss and my decision into a positive. I was determined to go back to college and get my degree because in 21 years, if I was face-to-face with him again, I want him to be proud of me. I want him to know that I made that decision and we both lived a better life because of it. It has been a tremendous influence in my life. I graduated. I have a great job. It has made me a better wife and a better mother today because I know I made the right decision for him and for myself.
•13.	Video Clip BM1-6 Title: Rhonda Birthmother	RHONDA: After giving birth to him and holding him and being with him for a period of time, I called Steve and said don't even think about coming over here. I don't want to discuss this. I don't want anybody to come and see me. I need time. I requested that Zachary move in with me which created quite the problem at the hospital. Steve and the social worker made sure that took place. It was during those 48 hours that I was with him that I came to the same decision that I had come to months before, that nothing had changed since I had given birth. I was still the same person that I was. I still lacked all of the things that I needed to be a mom and that my love for him wasn't going to be enough. I knew that I still had to go through with what I knew in my heart was the best thing to do. Having him with me for those days and having him with me when I signed the papers made a huge difference. It was just a reminder why I was doing what I was doing. I took advantage of every single second.