Dear Birthmom,

We are Terry and Lisa.  We live in the suburbs of a Midwestern city.  Terry is a construction manager for a residential homebuilder, and Lisa is a nurse.  Most of Terry’s family lives nearby; Lisa’s family lives on the East Coast.

We admire you for the loving and unselfish choice you are making.  We are eager to bring a child into our lives and hope that we are the couple you have been looking for to raise your baby. After repeated failed fertility procedures, including several in vitro fertilizations, we know that we cannot give birth to a child.  But we also know that how a child is brought into this world makes no difference in the way we will cherish and love him or her.

Lisa has two teenage children from a previous marriage, Brittany, 16, and Michael, 14.  They can’t wait to welcome a new brother or sister.  Brittany insists that she gets to hold the new baby all the time — except for diaper changes.  Michael imagines he can immediately start teaching his new brother or sister basketball moves.  But the truth is: Terry’s parents and sister and brothers have already insisted they each have dibs on their first grandchild/niece or nephew. There is no shortage of family to adore and love your child.

Terry:  I am the oldest of four.  My parents still live in the house in which I grew up, which is just a few miles from the home where Lisa and I now live.  My parents have always been loving and supportive, and we have a very close family.  Family time was a priority in our home.  Mom made dinner every evening, and we would go to my grandparents’ house after church for Sunday lunch.  We would often go to the lake together on Saturdays.

My dad was a machinist.  My mom worked as a teacher’s aide, so she would always be home when we got returned home from school.  Both of them encouraged us to work hard and to do well in school.  I loved helping my dad on projects.  I think that’s what initially got me interested in construction.  With such a large family, we didn’t have a lot of extra money, so I mowed lawns and worked at a pizza place to earn spending money and save for college.  After graduating from college, I began managing home building projects.  My employer is enthusiastic about our adoption plans -- he has young children himself -- and understands the importance of work flexibility to allow me to be with our child as needed.

I had a great childhood.  I remember many afternoons spent in the backyard, playing games with my brothers and other kids from the neighborhood.  We’d play dodge ball, hide and seek, and baseball. In good weather my family would take off for the lake on Saturday mornings and spend the day on the boat.  We’d go tubing, waterskiing, and fishing.  When we’d get off the water, we’d have a cookout at the picnic shelter. 

There were a number of family vacations spent with our grandparents.  I loved a trip to the Lake of the Ozarks with my Grandpa Earl.  We spent a lot of time boating, at a recreation park, at restaurants — all the usual vacation experiences.  But what I recall most fondly are the hours we spent at the end of the dock, fishing together.  Fishing and talking.  Fishing and not talking.  I loved being at his side, knowing he was glad I was with him, confident of the love between us.

Brittany and Michael are eager to welcome a baby into the family.

My parents led by example, teaching me the value of hard work, education, patience, and faith.  I always knew I was loved.  I always felt safe.  I was encouraged to find my passions and pursue them.  I want to be a parent like my parents. 

I met Lisa at an Aerosmith concert.  We were friends before we began to date.  We had so much in common.  We both love music, going to football and basketball games, bowling, hiking, boating, and traveling.  We spent hours on the phone talking.  I was drawn to Lisa by her bubbly personality.  I loved her laugh.  What I adore most about her is how deeply she cares for me.  She is warm and loving.  Her enthusiasm is catching.  I see how giving she is to Brittany and Michael, and I know that she will be the same, generous, and supportive mother to the baby we adopt. Her capacity to love is huge — I know she will immediately embrace and cherish our new baby.

Lisa:  I come from a big family.  I am the youngest of six children.  My mother died when I was just seven years old.  My father was a remarkable man.  He raised six kids as a single parent and worked two jobs to support us.  Sometimes, we needed help from our community to get by; we were given donations of food at the holidays.  It wasn’t always easy.  But I learned a lot about our obligation to others.  I can’t walk by a Salvation Army volunteer during the Christmas season without dropping change into the kettle.  It’s one of the ways I try to give back what I got as a child.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons I chose nursing.  It’s a way that I can help others.  I don’t ever remember wanting any other career.  My dad encouraged all of us to study hard so we could get financial aid for school.  His admonitions paid off — with scholarships and loans I went to nursing school, and now I work in a cardiac catheterization unit.  I love my work.  It might sound odd, but my favorite part of the job is the emergency care.  It’s important to me to help patients through their procedures, caring for them during a stressful time in their lives. 

My aunt was a nurse.  When I was very young, I spent a lot of time with my aunt, uncle and their four children. We’d get together for holidays at each others’ houses.   They lived just one block from us.  Each summer, our two families would go on a two-week camping trip.  We lived on the East Coast and would drive up and down the coast, sometimes even to Canada, to camp. We’d swim, fish, hike, and play games at the campsites.  One year, we were camping with a group of 18 adults and kids in West Virginia, on a cliff overlooking a river, when a huge storm blew up.  Our tents collapsed and the screen on our camper was being torn by the wind.  We ran to the cars to escape the rain and wind only to find that a tree had fallen on my dad’s car.  So we all piled in to the remaining cars and drove to a nearby motel.  They only had three rooms left, but somehow all 18 of us squeezed in for the night.  The next day we went back to the campsite to assess the damage.  It was immediately obvious that our trip was over.  Our gear was ruined.  It turned out that Dad’s car was in good enough shape to drive.  My dad’s name was George, so we thought it was hilarious when we all started singing: “George, George, George of the Jungle, watch out for that tree!”  At the time, Dad didn’t see the humor in it.  Still, every camping trip after that one began with a rousing chorus of George of the Jungle. He came to laugh about it later.

We met at a concert and found that we had much in common, not the least of which is a love of children.

My sister Anne, who is six years older than I am, was the one who mothered me after my mom’s death.  She would make sure I had clean clothes, make dinner, and would give me money for a movie from her savings from work.  When she got married, I would visit her over school breaks or on weekends.  As a young girl, I was often the odd-girl-out in school.  I came from a poor family, didn’t have stylish clothes, and didn’t get braces (until I was an adult.)  Anne and her husband, Russ, always made me feel loved and secure — like I really did belong somewhere.

All of these childhood experiences have made me who I am.  Following my father’s example, I am hard working, responsible, and committed to the welfare of my family.  I learned compassion and caring from my dad and my siblings.  I am committed to giving my children stability and security, encouragement and love.  I am moved by Brittany and Michael’s excitement about our adoption plans. I can’t imagine growing up without my siblings’ company and support.   The child we bring into our family will have an adoring older sister and brother, two people who will be lifelong friends, mentors to help him or her navigate through life, just as my siblings did for me. 

I’m so lucky to have met Terry.  He is so caring and considerate.  He works harder than anyone I know, but he’s always there for family and friends.  When we fell in love, I knew I wanted to parent a child with him.  He’s a great stepfather, and I know he will be an incredible father to our baby.  He’s very responsible, but he’s also playful. He is affectionate, and I love to imagine him cuddling with our baby, entertaining the baby with noises and funny faces, keeping us all safe.

We live in a great neighborhood with a playground and trails nearby.

When I married Terry, I married into a wonderful family.  His parents have embraced Brittany and Michael, as their own.  Because of the distance, I don’t get to see my family as often as I’d like, so it’s really wonderful to have Terry’s family close by.  We get together nearly every other weekend for dinner.  Terry’s mom and sister have both offered to care for the baby when I work.  As a nurse, I have a lot of flexibility with hours.  I currently work three days a week, and I expect to return to that after a maternity leave, but your baby will be with family when neither Terry nor I are at home, which should not be very often.

Our pets, Shelby

Terry and Lisa:  We live in a two-story home with five bedrooms and a large yard in a quiet neighborhood.  We have a finished basement with a theater area that is great for entertaining our friends — and, we hope, the friends of our new child.  We have a great deck for warm-weather gatherings.  There’s plenty of room in the backyard for play equipment and a spontaneous game of catch. Shelby, our puppy, loves kids.  She will be a great companion for a baby to grow up with.  We can just picture Shelby and our little one chasing each other around the yard.  Our cats, Seymour and Coco, won’t be chasing around with them, but they will be great for cuddling with on the couch, as we read.  Lisa loves to read, and she can’t wait to share her favorite children’s books with a new child.  

Seymour and Coco are playful and child friendly.

One of our favorite rooms in the house is our kitchen/hearth room.  It’s where we congregate to socialize and cook.  We can’t wait to have a child drawing at the kitchen table, banging on pots on the kitchen floor, or helping us as we make cookies for the family. 

The neighborhood pool is very close by.  So is one of our township parks, which has a great playground and walking trails.  Our neighborhood schools are among the best in the state. 

If you choose us to adopt your child, we will love and cherish him or her.  We will tell your child that you are a wonderful woman who loved him or her so much that you wanted what was best for him or her, even at personal cost.  If you choose, we will keep you updated, through letters and photos, of your child’s progress.

If you would like to know more about us, or if you have any questions, please contact our attorneys, Steve and Joel Kirsh, at 1-800-333-5736. 

Warm regards,

Terry and Lisa