Dear Expectant Mother,
Thank you for giving us this opportunity to introduce our family to you. We are Michele and Michael. We started dating almost 16 years ago and have been married for 11 years. In all those years, this is the most important letter we have ever written. We want you to realize how grateful we are that you love your child so much to consider adoption. We are already parents so we understand the love between parents and their children. We know that it is the same love for children that brings us together today.
Michael is a lawyer. Michele is a stay-at-home mom of our daughter, Gabrielle, who is six and in kindergarten. We live in a quiet suburb of Chicago. We are blessed to have a large, five-bedroom house with a beautiful yard and great neighbors. We live on a cul-de-sac in a diverse neighborhood filled with young children.
We have a lot of friends and a large extended family (mostly on Michele's side). Most of Michele's family live in the Chicagoland area. Michele's parents and brothers live within 45 minutes of us, and we see them often. Michael's parents live two hours away which is also close enough for frequent visits. His sister's family lives in Michigan. We are very close to our families. Family and our Catholic faith are the core of our relationship and lives.
Our parents taught us to be the people we are today, so let us tell you about how we were raised:
Michele: I grew up in a Chicago suburb. My parents have been married for 44 years. Dad worked for IBM for 40 years before he retired. Mom was a teacher for a time before also working at IBM. They met at work, fell in love, and were married. My mom left work to be a stay-at-home mom upon the birth of my oldest brother, Jim. Eleven months later my brother, Mike, was born and I followed three years after that. Dad was the breadwinner and Mom was there for us whenever we needed her. Our house was where all of our friends hung out and felt welcome. My parents were loving but strict. We had rules and were expected to follow them. Mom is a great role model and a true friend. She is sweet, funny, sensitive, supportive and a loyal mother and wife. Dad is one of the smartest people I know. He has kept me on my toes all these years. When I would have a tough homework problem and ask Dad for help, he would tell me to "read the book and figure it out." Boy, I hated to hear that! I knew he could tell me how to do it right then and there. After a while, I realized that he was helping me to become independent, confident and a problem solver. Both of my parents had faith in my abilities even when I didn't.
My parents put our family's needs first no matter what – and they still do. It was important for Mom to stay home with the kids and be able to send us to college. So although we didn't go on many vacations or have the latest designer clothes, we had what was most important: a loving, stable family and parents who supported us in everything we did. That is still true today. They come over at least once a week to spend time with us. They are young at heart and very active. We have a wonderful relationship and they adore their grandchildren. I love to watch Gabrielle's face light up when she sees them or listen to her long conversations on the phone with them. We are very blessed to have them in our lives.
Michael: I grew up in Central Illinois. My family is small but very close. Mom and Dad have been married 45 years. I am exceptionally close to them as I was to my Grandma Grace. She moved in with our family during her elder years. Every night I went downstairs to say goodnight to and chat with Grandma Grace before she died. Those memories are some of my fondest. All three of them have tremendously influenced my life.
My family did not have much money, but what my parents scraped together was spent on me and my older sister, Michelle. Mom worked at our high school cafeteria for 30 years to help put us through college, and me through law school. In the course of working at the cafeteria, Mom befriended hundreds of kids, many of whom included the unpopular, the learning disabled, and the kids written off by others as troublemakers. These kids love her to this day because she treated them as people who deserved the same respect as everyone else. Mom taught me to treat everyone as if she or he were someone special.
Dad has always been a remarkable role model. He grew up in a rat-infested housing project and was, to say the least, not a model student in his youth. After he met Mom in high school, he got his act together and joined the Marines. After his service to our country, he worked in various blue collar jobs, including as a warehouse worker where he was literally "discovered" while doodling during his lunch break, by someone in the advertising department. Through hard work, talent and his desire to give things to his family that he never had, he worked his way up from the warehouse to being the advertising manager of his company. Dad taught me, among many things, how to throw a curveball, to respect women, and how to work hard to support your family.
In short, my small family is comprised of down-to-earth people who taught me traditional values. They are a small but mighty support network for our family.
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 On vacation in the Caribbean |
Michael: I am a positive and passionate person. I'm passionate about caring for my family; fostering my family's relationship with God; watching the Cubs at Wrigley Field; playing golf with my friends; distance running; working hard on something worthwhile; volunteering at the Boys and Girls Clubs; eating at great restaurants; playing almost all sports; quoting movie lines; telling jokes and having fun.
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 During our dating years (bright lipstick was in style!) |
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Michele: Words cannot describe the excitement I felt when I ran into Michael that day. I thought of him often since we graduated as the one who got away…why hadn't I asked him to my dance!?!? I remember vividly the first time he called me. My mom and Aunt Theresa were sitting at the kitchen table and Mom answered the phone. I had butterflies as I picked up the phone. A few hours later I emerged from my room and gushed about the wonderful man I was going to go on a date with. Our first date was perfect: dinner and a jazz club. Our conversation flowed like we had known each other forever. It was a date we did not want to end. I would later tell my friends and family about the funny, smart, sensitive, handsome man who I could not stop thinking about.
 Our best man gave a hilarious speech! |
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It is impossible for us to talk about our lives together without going on and on about Gabrielle. She is a loving, bright, compassionate little girl with a great sense of humor and huge heart. No one is more welcoming than Gabrielle. Her love is truly limitless. She loves us, loves other kids, loves God and loves life. She often says, "This is the life!" and "I love my life!" Strangers and friends alike notice and tell us how she seems to enjoy everything she does, no matter how big or small. It is so true. Whether we are digging up worms in the backyard or swimming in Arizona on vacation, Gabrielle displays the same excitement. And, best of all, even though she is a girly girl who loves dresses, jewelry, fairies and princesses, she also loves sports, bugs, and frogs. (Michael made me tell you that she is a lefty, and has great hand-eye coordination.)
On that note, we think it's important to tell you what kind of parents we are. We tell each other and our daughter several times a day "I love you" and give hugs and "smooches" like there's no tomorrow. Our daughter is very confident and happy because we give her endless praise, love and guidance. We frequently tell her that there is nothing that she cannot do and we believe it. We could be in the middle of cooking dinner or homework and one of us will run up to another with a huge hug. In fact, Gabrielle tries to knock us down with her big bear hugs! We'll ask her when she is going to bed if she knows how special she is and how much she is loved. Her response is, "Yes, because you tell me." There is never a doubt in her mind that we are 100% there for her – as we will be for your child.
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Michele: Michael is an incredible father and husband. Our family is his number one priority. He is smart, funny, sensitive and my best friend. Michael can always put a smile on my face – or anyone's for that matter. He has a great sense of humor and can be very silly. Kids LOVE him. They are drawn to him. He is easy to talk to and people easily confide in him.
On Saturday evenings we always go out to dinner as a family. We love that time together. We sit at the table and talk and produce a lot of art work. Michael and Gabrielle love it when there is white paper across the table so they can create huge, detailed murals. Gabrielle often insists that we rip off the paper so we can take it home. Sunday mornings we go to Mass and a favorite restaurant for brunch. Gabrielle and Michael also enjoy "daddy-daughter" outings. I joke with them that I feel left out but honestly I love that they are so close. Some things they enjoy together include playing at parks; visiting the pumpkin patch before Halloween; cheering on the Cubs at Wrigley Field (I'm allowed to go to at least one game); a daddy-daughter dance around Valentine's Day; and just shooting hoops or digging for worms (although I really enjoy shooting hoops too). When Michael gets home from work I watch from the kitchen as Gabrielle runs and jumps into his arms for a huge hug. Now THAT makes me smile!
Michael: How can I describe Michele to someone who has never met her? She is complex. She is brilliant. She is full of grace. She is protective. She is beautiful. She is loving. She is exacting. She is an educator. She is sentimental.
The relationship that Michele has with Gabrielle is so special it defies words. You might think that I would be threatened by their deep and unbreakable bond, but nothing could be further from the truth. Michele and Gabrielle have boundless love. I never worry that there is not enough for me or others. Indeed, I see how much extra love they bring to our family members, our friends, and others in need. I can't wait to watch her build the same deep bond with your child.
Michele has taught our daughter how to love and be loved in the grandest fashion. She shows her love through her desire to spend time with Gabrielle, not begrudgingly, but with interest and excitement. After school, they often go to a coffee shop to snuggle in a booth and read to each other. They cherish this time together and they are creating memories that they will never forget. Gabrielle tells us she cannot wait to read to a new brother or sister.
But Michele is not someone who thinks a mother is simply a friend; she challenges Gabrielle every day and disciplines her firmly but gracefully. Even Michele's discipline is full of love – and Gabrielle respects it. I'm so proud of them both.
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While Michele is very involved in Gabrielle's activities and school, it is because she can be right now. She is a room mom for Gabrielle's kindergarten class and helps to plan parties and trips for the kids. What is nice is that Gabrielle will be in first grade next year and in school all day. She will be in heaven because she LOVES school. Michele will be able to focus 100% on our new baby while Gabrielle is there. When our baby is old enough, Michele will be able to take him or her to mom and tot classes just as she did with Gabrielle. We are hands-on parents and truly enjoy the time we spend together as a family. In fact, we are the only parents we know who have never used a babysitter other than her grandparents.
One thing we cherish is our vacations together. We have never gone on a vacation without Gabrielle. Neither of us traveled much when we were growing up because our parents could not afford it. We realize that we are very fortunate now to be able to take exciting trips every year – and we make sure Gabrielle realizes that too. Before we had Gabrielle we went skiing out west every year with a big group of friends. Someday we hope to do that again when our children are older. But, for now, Michele and Gabrielle prefer the warm weather vacations. We have traveled to places like Florida, California, Mexico, the Caribbean, and Arizona (one of our favorites). A few years ago we went to Disney World with a group of friends and their kids. We hope to do a multi-family trip like that again someday.
Gabrielle has diverse interests as we mentioned. We encourage her to do things that she enjoys. The child we adopt will also be encouraged to follow his or her dreams. Spanish and swimming classes have been a constant for Gabrielle for a few years, but there are other classes/activities that change with the season. Some of her favorites are: Daisy Scouts, ice skating, basketball, and even an insects class. She recently got her own meal worms so she can watch them grow into beetles. This year Gabrielle gets out of school at 11 every day so she still has a lot of time for activities outside of school. Next year she will have to cut back with being in school all day – and we will also hopefully be busy taking care of our new baby! She already has it planned out how she is going to help feed, change, read to, and play with her new little brother or sister…and she cannot wait!
Gabrielle will make an awesome big sister. She often talks about a baby brother or sister. It warms our hearts to hear the love that she has for a baby that is not even in our home yet. We thought that we would have more children by now. However, as we are sure you realize, sometimes life doesn't go according to plan. After medical intervention to conceive a second child and the loss of our baby through miscarriage, we have realized that God has a different plan for us. It is a plan that we fully embrace with open hearts. It is our faith that keeps us strong and hopeful that one day we will be blessed with another child. Many people, including our fertility doctor, have told us that we are meant for one another and that they can see how solid our relationship is. It is very true. We have talked with our daughter over the past few years about our desire to adopt, and she is just as excited as we are. You can be assured that your baby will be smothered with hugs, kisses and lots and lots of love.
We believe that we are excellent parents with love, resources and a big extended family to share with your child. Every child is a miracle; we know that you believe this too – or else you would not be considering this difficult decision based on what is best for your baby. We hope you will bless us with your baby so that we can provide her or him with all the love, attention and opportunities that you wish for him or her. God bless you for considering whether our family's love is best for your child.
If you would like to talk to us or meet us in person, please contact our attorneys, Steve and Joel Kirsh, at 800-333-5736. They are very kind and professional and will not pressure you in any way.
All our best,
Michael and Michele
