Thank you for reading this letter. We know this isn't easy for you. We know that nothing in your life is easy right now, but we hope that in reading our letter and getting to know something about us, our lives, and our desire to be parents, you find hope and peace in the same way that looking toward adopting a child has helped us find hope and peace.

Our names are Mark and Adrienne. Adrienne is thirty, and Mark is thirty-three. We've been married for over four years. We live in a red brick house with green shutters on a winding street in a quiet neighborhood with people and kids of all ages and lots of dogs. Our Midwestern community is a thriving place with many opportunities and wonderful schools. We have a big back yard where Adrienne plants flowers, Mark plants spicy peppers or barbecues, and our dog, Chloe, likes to run and play.

Our Dog, Chloe -- she's furry, but she's family.

Our home is where we build our lives, though, of course, our story began seven years ago when we first met. Our story already has many chapters that tell of the families we grew up in, how we fell in love, the day we got married, and how we came to be writing this letter to you. We know that there are many chapters yet to be written in our story, and we pray that many of those chapters will be about adopting a baby and being the best parents we can be.

This letter is a chance for us to share our story with you so that you can get to know us, come to understand us, and help us write the chapters about our future. Writing this letter has been no simple task. There is so much to say and so much that we want you to know about us, but we know that words, pages, and pictures cannot possibly tell our whole story. That's why we would love to meet you when and if you are ready to meet us.

In the meantime, all good stories have to start at the beginning . . .

Adrienne: Mark and I met in law school through a mutual friend. I'd love to tell you that it was love at first sight, but the truth is that there were no great thunderbolts during that first meeting. Over the course of a few months, though, we kept running into each other out with friends or on campus. The timing wasn't great - it was the end of the school year. Mark was a year ahead of me and headed to the west coast for an internship and, hopefully, a permanent job offer. I was headed to a city in the Midwest for my internship and, hopefully, a permanent job offer. We didn't have any way to contact each other that summer, and we were on opposite sides of the country - neither one of us with plans to live where the other one was. But he just kept popping into my mind. I made a promise to myself that, when we got back to school, I'd find him. And I did - on the first day back on campus. That was a Tuesday. I wish I could say I spotted him in some romantic spot, but I really didn't. I ran into him in the computer lab and got his attention. We went out on Wednesday night, and we've been together ever since.

This is our first, and probably favorite, picture.

I have no idea how to tell you about Mark in any way that will do him justice. I know that it only took a few months for me to realize that I was in love with him and that I wanted to marry him. I know that when I'm with him I feel peace, and I know that I cannot imagine not having Mark in my life, not even for a second. I can tell you all the ways he makes me feel safe and happy and wonderful, but I don't know the right words to describe what it is about him that makes me feel that way.

My grandmother used to say that the definition of grace is that you can make anyone feel comfortable in your presence. Mark has grace - the kind that comes from being truly comfortable in your own skin. He has no end of compassion for people, even people he has never met. He spends a lot of his professional life trying to make life better for other people, and I am in awe of that. He is the person that his co-workers and friends seek out when they have a problem. But he's not all business. He's also a lot of fun, with a wicked and sometimes truly silly sense of humor. My best friend told me once that no one makes me laugh like Mark does, and she is right. He loves to laugh and to make people laugh, and he has no problem laughing at himself.

Mark and his favorite place in our yard - the grill!

Without question, no one is a better partner or match for me. Every day, Mark tells me he loves me and that he is proud of me. The last thing we say to each other any time we part or hang up the telephone is "I love you, drive safe, promise?" Every single time. And he takes care of me. When I was in the hospital prior to the stillbirth of our daughter, he slept on the awful fold out chair every night so that he could be with me if I needed him. The nurses, who saw him there, being so sweet and so caring, told me how amazed they were to see our relationship. One of them told me that, some day, she hopes she has the kind of relationship that we have. When I think of Mark and our marriage, I feel loved, lucky, and blessed.

Going fishing . . .

Mark: There are many things I want to tell you about Adrienne. This letter is so frustrating because it limits my ability to explain exactly who she is. I cannot think of a good way of telling you the kindness she shows throughout the day, the good judgment she provides every time I need her help, or how much her niece and nephews love her - it's so much bigger than these words allow. But, with that limitation in mind, I'm going to do my best.

Adrienne is the kindest, least selfish person that I have ever met. Last week, Adrienne made a dinner to take over to her friend who recently had her first child. Even having been to two funerals for her own children within the last year, Adrienne found joy and happiness in her heart for her friend, and wanted to reach out and support her. The week before that, Adrienne was doing everything she could to help her secretary, whose mother is slowly losing a long battle with cancer. In the midst of the horrible tragedies we have suffered through, Adrienne has not stopped caring about the people around her. It is not unusual for me to have to talk Adrienne out of inviting strangers to eat with us when she sees them alone in a restaurant. Little old men are probably her single greatest weakness : It is also not unusual for me to have to convince Adrienne to do the things for herself that she deserves. Everything she does is in the context of thinking about other people.

Adrienne is also a fun and happy person to be around. People are drawn to her big, beautiful smile and her big, bright eyes. Whether it is in a Starbucks or an airport or a shopping mall, she is always making new friends. Yesterday she struck up a ten minute conversation with a total stranger while we were waiting in line; by the end of the conversation, Adrienne and the other lady were smiling and laughing like old friends.

Our niece is 3 years old, and completely and totally dedicated to two things: the color pink and her aunt Adrienne. Everything she wears is pink, and when her Auntie Adrienne visits, everything she says is some way related to Adrienne. Last week, our niece refused to take a bath unless Adrienne helped out with it.

These are not the biggest or most memorable stories that I know about Adrienne; they are just the ones that mean the most. These are the little things that she does when nobody is watching - the small touches that make people love and respect you and want to seek out your company.

If I had to pick one example of the person she is, it would be during the loss of our last child. When the complications first occurred, she was told she could develop a life-threatening infection. She was told that she would have to lie in that bed for months for the slimmest chance that our daughter would survive. And she never hesitated in her response - she would have given anything for that child to have a chance to live. We were in the high risk pregnancy wing, dealing with nurses and doctors that deal with loss on a regular basis. But after four days of lying in bed, trying to give that child every chance, our doctors and nurses were truly inspired by the dedication and strength Adrienne showed. When our daughter ultimately passed, several of them pulled me aside and told me how in all their experiences, with all the pain and loss they had seen, Adrienne had shown them what true dedication and love was. Adrienne shows this love and dedication every day of her life.

I love her so much because, at the end of the day, no matter what else has happened to me, she is there for me with a smile and a kiss and a shoulder if I need it; even after she has been through all this. When the world gets to be too much, I know she will never leave me, never stop fighting for me, and never stop loving me. She will do the same for whatever child we are blessed with.

Our favorite picture of us with Mark's parents - Marion & Roger

Although we did not know each other growing up, we grew up in very similar families. The only difference was that our families lived on two different continents. Mark was born in Canada but grew up in a small town filled with mostly American families. The only catch was that his small town was not in Canada or in the U.S.; Mark, his parents, and his younger sister, Christine, lived overseas where his father worked as an engineer. Mark's childhood house was on the edge of a beautiful, pristine beach and looked out over crystal blue water. As a kid, Mark traveled with his parents (Marion and Roger) and his sister all over the world. They traveled to Africa, to Europe, to Asia, and, of course, to the U.S. and Canada. In their travels, they met people of all races and religions and experienced the beauty of different cultures. And the shared experience of living abroad and traveling the world helped them become a close knit family that cherishes their family bond and roots, but also encourages and supports each member's individuality.

Growing up, Adrienne's family was remarkably similar to Mark's, except that they lived on different continents. Adrienne grew up in a lovely house in the woods with her older sister and brother, Stephanie and David, and her mom and dad, Mary Jo and Jay. Adrienne's childhood home was full of people and laughter. Adrienne, her sister, and her brother, almost always had their friends over, and most of those friends called Adrienne's parents "Mom" and "Dad." Everyone who came over was one of her parents' kids. Like Mark's family, Adrienne's family loved to travel. Some of Adrienne's favorite and clearest childhood memories are of those family vacations. Since junior high school, Adrienne's family went to a particular spot in Florida once a year, where they would go swimming, fishing, and boating. We still go to that exact same beach as often as we can, and we try to coordinate our trips with the other members of Adrienne's family.

Just some of our family who live close to us, including Adrienne's parents, Mary Jo & Jay (center)

Adrienne's family has now expanded to include three nephews and a niece. Adrienne's parents and siblings (and two aunts, two uncles, and a handful of cousins and their children) live within twenty minutes of our home. In fact, one of the reasons we decided to return to the city where Adrienne grew up was to be close to her family and be part of our nephews' and niece's lives. With family all around us, this seemed like a natural place to find a house and make it home.

We bought this house just over a year ago after looking at lots of houses. In fact, we were just about to stop looking when we walked through this front door. Our main floor is one big flowing room, with no hallways to divide the family room, kitchen, and breakfast room. Both of us love to cook and to have our friends and family over for meals and parties. That's probably because both of us grew up in families who love to cook and to entertain and to gather around the family kitchen.

Home Sweet Home

We both grew up with parents who believed that meal time was family time and that the kitchen is the heart of any home. So, when we walked into this house, we looked at each other and said, "This is it - we're home." We even asked Adrienne's dad - whose opinion we seek out for everything from garden tools to home improvement projects - to come over and give us his opinion. He stood at our kitchen counter and looked out into the rest of the house and said, "Standing right here, this is the perfect house." And we agreed.

We not only had a warm and inviting place to spend our time, we also had four bedrooms and a basement. And a backyard. It was the perfect house for us, because we saw ourselves starting our family here. And the timing seemed right. When we found our house, Adrienne was well into the second trimester of our first pregnancy. Four days later, Adrienne went into labor, and we lost our baby - our son.

Neither of us could really ever explain what that it was like when we were told that our child would not survive. We were devastated. No one, not us, not our doctors, saw it coming. But we hung onto each other and our faith and tried to look toward the future. When the doctors gave us the green light, we tried to get pregnant again, and we were really lucky that we got pregnant right away. But the pregnancy wasn't right from the start, and Adrienne miscarried at about 8 weeks. Once again, we were crushed.

Our doctors told us that what happened the first time was really rare and what happened the second time was much more common. We met with all kinds of doctors and talked to them about what was going on. Adrienne went through test after test. We learned that Adrienne's body doesn't react to pregnancy like other women's bodies do, so we'd have to handle a future pregnancy with extra care. Any pregnancy we would have would be considered "high risk."

About two months after our second miscarriage, we found out that we were pregnant again. We were so excited. We had all of our doctors lined up, and we were ready to have a pregnancy that worked. To make sure that it worked, Adrienne had to give herself shots of medicine every morning. The thing is - Adrienne is terrified of needles. Not that we know anybody who really likes needles, but for Adrienne, her two great fears are needles and spiders, and needles are the worst. But we had dreamed about becoming parents, and we knew we were ready to bring a child into our lives and our home, so the daily shots just didn't seem significant when we looked at the big picture.

They say that lightning doesn't strike twice, but for us it did. Once again, in her second trimester, Adrienne started to feel like something wasn't quite right. We called our nurse (who by now had become a trusted friend), and she told us to come in and get checked out. At first, none of the nurses thought anything was wrong, but the exam showed that something was really, badly wrong. Adrienne was fully dilated. They told us that there wasn't much of a chance that our baby would make it and that Adrienne would have to stay in the hospital until she delivered, but nobody knew whether that would be in a few days, a few weeks, or a few months. We prayed that it would be a few months, but that wasn't the way it happened. After four days in the hospital, Adrienne delivered our baby girl. She had already passed away.

Words will probably never adequately express the sorrow we felt at losing three pregnancies in just under a year. We felt sad and scared. Both of us knew from a pretty young age that we wanted to be parents. When we met, we knew that we wanted to be parents together. Family is a big part of who we are and why we fell in love, and losing our babies was profoundly painful.

After we lost our daughter, we took a step back and tried to figure out what all of it meant. We know that the pain of infertility and the loss of children can often tear marriages and people apart. We found that, though we had been through a series of extraordinarily difficult events, our love, our marriage, and our faith in each other was unshaken. In fact, we were stronger for having been tested.

We talked about how we saw our future. We believe that we have a lot of love to give each other and to a child. We realized that we desperately wanted to bring a baby home to love and raise, but that we couldn't bear to lose another baby. We decided it would be several years before we even discussed trying again, if we ever do try again. Our path to parenthood led us to adoption.

We are both faithful people, and we believe that God has a plan for everyone. One of the reasons why we found peace in our decision to adopt is because we absolutely believe that we are called to be parents and that there is a baby who is destined to become part of our family. We think we will find that baby through adoption.

Even when we were dating, we always talked about adopting kids. We have friends and family members who have been touched by adoption in every way possible. Mark's mom was adopted by her step-grandmother, and we have friends who are adoptive parents and birthparents. Both families that live across the street from us have adopted children. Before we even learned that it was going to be so difficult for us to have biological children, we pictured a family that included both biological and adopted children. To us, there's no difference between biological and adopted children. They're simply children. So to us - adoption wasn't something we thought of when everything else had failed. It's something that we thought about, talked about, and planned on, but simply didn't expect to do so early.

We want to have a child in our lives because we love children, and we can't wait to have a family. We are at a point in our lives at which we have so much to offer a child. We are young, active, and healthy. We are financially secure, and we both have stable, rewarding jobs that we love, in organizations with family-first ideals. Our parents, siblings, friends, and co-workers support our adoption plan without question. We live in a house that was made for a child in a neighborhood filled with children. We enjoy a committed, loving marriage, and we look forward to sharing the responsibilities of parents, just as we share everything else. And, through the ordeals of losing our pregnancies, our desire to be parents has been tested and has endured. We are spiritually and emotionally ready to make a child the center of our world and to become a family.

To the child that comes into our lives, we can offer unconditional love and support, stability, and encouragement. We will teach our child to learn about and explore his or her world. We will teach our child to be brave and adventurous, but to know and understand the love, comfort, and security of home. We will teach him or her about the things we love - movies, music, books, traveling, animals - and we will explore and learn about the things our child loves, whatever those things may be. We will shower our child with hugs, kisses, and laughter. We will teach our child Christian values and the importance of family. And most certainly, in telling our precious child his or her adoption story, we will explain that you, because of your courage and your love, gave us a priceless gift - the chance to become a family. For that, we will be eternally and immeasurably grateful, and you will always be in our thoughts and prayers. Likewise, we would be happy to send you letters and photos letting you know how your precious child is getting along, if you wish.

We sat down to write this letter wondering how in the world we could ever tell you the kinds of things you will need to know or want to know to make a decision about your unborn child's future. There is so much that we cannot fit on these pages, but we hope we have given you an idea about who we are, why we love each other, and what we will be like as parents.

We hope our story has been a comfort to you, and we would love to meet you and share more of our story with you. If you are interested in meeting us or talking to us, please contact our attorneys, Steve and Joel Kirsh, at (317) 575-5555 or (800) 333-5736. Steve and Joel dedicate themselves to building families through adoption, so we hope that you will be as comfortable with them as we are.

Thank you for taking the time to learn about us. Thank you for making an adoption plan for your baby. Our wish for you is that you find hope and peace in this process, whatever decision you make.

Our very best wishes,

Adrienne and Mark