Welcome to our hearts,
You are looking for a wonderful home for your baby, and we are looking to open our hearts and home to a new life. We laugh a lot and take time to appreciate this wonderful world that God has given us. Over the twelve years that we've been together (married for 10), we have had many good times and built a life full of love. We've overcome the challenge of infertility, and as a result have become a stronger couple. The decision to pursue adoption to build our family has brought us a sense of great joy and peace. We know that adoption is God's plan for our family. We have "grown up" together and shared so many memories during the past twelve years. We can't wait to add a child to our family. We have always wanted children and couldn't picture life without them.
We know that there's no one exactly like you. You are unique, individual, and blessed with a very special gift to give: the gift of life.
Introducing: Lori and Ed.
We have a huge place in our hearts, waiting for a child to fill it. Together (you and us) we can fulfill all of our hopes and dreams for this lucky child. If you wish, we will keep you updated in the happenings of your child's life through pictures and letters so that you can see how your child is growing.
As you read this letter, we want you to know first of all, that we respect what you are doing. You chose an adoption plan for your child. We truly appreciate your sacrifice. The decision to make an adoption plan for your child is truly a parental one. This is a wonderful gift that you are giving to your child. We have a unique understanding of adoption in our family. Lori's mother made an adoption plan for her first daughter 35 years ago. Being able to talk with her about her situation has allowed us to better understand your perspective. We can never fully comprehend your exact feelings; we can only respect them. As you know, adoption is a wonderful thing, though bittersweet. Take some comfort in knowing that you will be helping to make a family's dreams come true. We want to share as much information with you about our lives as we can. We look forward to meeting with you and would be happy to share this pregnancy with you, if you would like. We want to do whatever will make this "easier" for you: we know that we cannot make it "easy" for you. Your baby will always understand how much you care and the loving consideration you gave when making the adoption plan.
We want you to take comfort in the fact that we will guide and nurture our child to grow thrive, and to become their unique, special self. We'll always trust them, and give them space to be responsible and make the right decisions. We'll show them that even when things don't go as planned, that the result is just as good and usually better. To us, parenthood is about giving our child the benefit of our knowledge and experiences to shape his/her life. We want to raise a child that has a lust for life. We'll raise our family in much the same way that we were raised. We will instill a positive outlook on life and giving them lots of encouragement, and love. We promise to provide a loving and nurturing family. How will we spend our days? As babies, they'll have toys and games that challenge them physically and mentally in a warm, safe environment. We'll encourage them to be creative and work with others. We'll expose them to all types of music (Grandpa Dick and Uncle Dave play the guitar and they can't wait to play with the next generation), books and sports. We'll teach them to ride a bike and to swim. We'll do household chores together too. We'll do dishes and mow the lawn. We'll even wash the dog! We'll celebrate holidays with family and friends. As they grow, we'll go to church together. We'll teach them to cook and we'll eat together as a family. We'll support them when they struggle, cheer them when they do well and guide them when they make mistakes. We will love them everyday.
We hope that through this letter you can see into our hearts, and sense the joy and excitement that we have as we begin this journey to meet your child. We hope that by opening our hearts and lives to you, that we can connect with you, so that you will feel confident that we are the right people to parent this amazing, innocent life!
Ed and Lori:
We married ten years ago. We met in college. We dated a year-and-half before tying the knot. We took time early in our marriage to get settled into our careers and grow as a couple.
We decided to try to start our family five years ago. Our route to parenthood has been longer and far different than we could have ever expected. We have learned that in life that sometimes you may not get what you want, exactly the way you want it. But to be patient, the best does lie ahead. We know that adoption is the right path for us to take to create our family. No other way has felt right. Going through this process has calmed us and given us a sense of reassurance and peace.
Our Life:
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| Frannie, striking her best pose for Dad. |
We live in a thriving, Mid-western city with much to offer. There is a zoo and a children's museum very close by. We have many memories of going to these places on school field trips and with our families. We can't wait to share these activities with a child. We live in our dream house, a 2-story brick cottage in a wonderful, historic area.
We have a two-year-old, rescue, Beagle named Frannie. She's the only "child" in the house, so we think that she is ready to have some company! She is a very good pet and is safe with children. As a matter of fact, she loves kids. They're more her size!
She has a face that charms all who meet her. Our house is next to a walking/biking trail that we use often. We use the trail to walk Frannie almost daily. The trail is busy with families jogging with their strollers and dogs, too. We can't wait until we can tackle that challenge! Not far along this trail is a family park.
People are there everyday playing volleyball, climbing on the play-gyms, swinging, having a fun time. We have seen families having picnics and have longed for the day that we can do the same.
We rode downtown on the trail with Ed's parents one day last summer and had so much fun! We enjoyed getting back on bikes again. We like to walk or ride our bikes to eat at one of the many great restaurants on nice sunny days. We enjoy the many restaurants with outdoor dining, unique little shops and a dog bakery that we go to throughout the year.
There are several great schools in our area that will provide the best opportunities for your child. One, in particular, is within walking distance and is our first choice for our child's education. Also, our church is just 2 minutes away. We really enjoy this church, and there are MANY kids who go there. We see families there every Sunday with their children and look forward to the day that we can bring our child to church with us. We love the area and can't wait to raise our family here.
Lori: On Ed: I want to share with you some of the qualities that I love about Ed. I could go on for hours. But I'm sure we will talk more when we meet. He is a man of character and integrity. He and his father share many of the same qualities. His father has been a role model for him. He hopes to be a role model to his children, as well.
He has a very big heart. He brings me flowers or my favorite candy "just because". He's the more romantic one. I love to see him with children. When he holds our nephew, or rocks our friend's daughter to sleep, those times just warm my heart. I love to see him playing and cuddling with our dog, it's obvious how much he loves her.
He is very giving. He coached kids soccer for several years right out of college and enjoyed it very much. It was rewarding for us in so many ways. I went to many of the practices and all of the games. We both enjoyed being with the kids and helping them learn, as well as sharing the ups and downs with them. Parents would ask which child was ours. We saw many surprised faces when they found out we didn't have a child on the team and he was doing this just for fun. Family is very important to him. One of his favorite memories is making Christmas cookies since he was a child. He has many memories of he and his family icing the cookies at the kitchen table. He made a batch this year for us to give our friends and family. We had so much fun decorating them. We sat at the dining room table carefully icing them, adding details that made each one of them unique. He had to show me how to decorate them just right. Mine were too boring, I guess. Oh, by the way, he's the cook in the family. But I am learning to make some of his favorites that his Mom used to make. Everyone enjoyed looking at them as much as eating them. This will definitely be a Christmas tradition with our family.
He has a great sense of humor and makes even the most frustrating situation fun. We laugh a lot at ourselves and at each other! We have many "inside" jokes and silly little quirks that wouldn't make sense to anyone else but us. To us, humor makes life a lot more fun! He also has the ability to tell a story like no one else, he expresses such excitement that everyone is drawn in. I wish that I could do the same, so until then I'll let him tell the stories! He's also inherited the ability to fix almost anything, from his Dad. But when he has trouble, Dad is only a phone call away!
My Job: I am a dental hygienist. I love my job for many reasons, but probably the biggest reason is the daily interaction with people. I enjoy helping them and getting to know them. Sharing stories about family, pets and weekend plans. I see kids almost everyday in my job and really enjoy spending time with them. Talking with them about what they did in school that day, what activities they are in and any vacations they have planned really brightens my day! My job is close to home and offers flexibility so that I can be home with our child. It is common in dental hygiene, especially in my office, that the Moms only work part-time so that they can be home with their kids. That is one of the main reasons that I chose this profession. Many of my co-workers have had babies recently, actually seven babies in a year! I am already getting parenting advice.
Growing up: I am an only child. While growing up, we lived in a small, rural town. I don't think that I appreciated it while living there, but looking back I can see the benefits. Having family close by and having the same friends since kindergarten gave me a lot of stability. I remember having dinner at the kitchen table most every night growing up. That was our time to talk about each other's day and whatever else was going on in our lives. That is one tradition that I want to carry on in my own family. Ed and I are enjoying dinners at our table now, imagining how nice it will be to share this time with our child.
My grandparents lived in the same town, so I got to see all of my aunts and uncles every Saturday of my childhood. My grandparents were always there to help in any way that they could, taking me to school or to dentist appointments. I know that Ed and I appreciate the fact that our child will also have a set of grandparents close by. It means so much to both of us for our child to have a relationship with the grandparents and extended family. I have several aunts and uncles that live nearby that can't wait to share in the life of our child.
My parents have always been supportive of me, especially now with the adoption of our child. As I get older, I can see my parents as people, not just as parents. I am getting to know them on a different level. I can appreciate the sacrifices they made for me. We have a very close relationship.
Ed:
On Lori: As is typical, my wife takes the lead in new situations. That's one of her qualities that I appreciate the most. Lori has never walked into a room full of strangers and not left with at least one friend. I remember the first time she met my family. It was my graduation day from college and my family was running late (not unusual) so I didn't have time to make proper introductions just "Hi Mom and Dad. This is Lori", and off I went. I looked back at one point during the ceremony, there are my two brothers, dress shirts off sitting in t-shirts and Lori is between them laughing. From that day on, she has been like a big sister to them and a part of our family, forever known as "Lorsby". You know you are a part of the family when you get your nickname.
I always feared that when I found "the one" my mother would dislike her. You always hear women talk of the mother-in-law as if she were a monster. I could not be more thankful that Lori and my mother are great friends. When my mother calls the house, it is typically not to talk to me but Lori. This winter I couldn't get away for a week so my mom and Lori went on a vacation together to see her parents. There is really only one drawback to this, they like to gang up on me...Ed are you eating properly...Ed you really need to fix ___________ (fill in blank). I like to say I get nagged in stereo.
My wife is the most open, accepting person I know. She treats people with a kindness and understanding that we all wish we had. When her friends need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen to them, they call Lori. Just last week one of her friends confided in her that she and her husband were going through some tough times. Lori stayed with her 'till late into the night, not telling her what to do but listening. When I have struggles at work or with friends, she is my sounding board.
When I think about my wife and all of her qualities, it is difficult at times to convey the whole picture. I love the way she gets excited about a new purse, the way she proudly shows off her new electronic gadget, when she smiles at me for no reason, when she takes my hand in a crowded room and gives a little squeeze, when she holds a baby and breathes in that baby smell, when she sets out everything I need for a work trip the night before. I could go on forever, but the simplest thing to say is I love my wife for who she is.
My Job: I work as a project manager for a construction company. I have worked for the same company for the last 9 years advancing and learning with each new opportunity. I enjoy working directly with people to develop a successful team. I have worked with my team of engineers for the last few years. I have watched many of them come straight out of school knowing just enough to be dangerous to now leading others. As I move further along in my career, it has become less about what I know or can do and more about developing others to achieve their success. In the next year, I will be making the transition into an upper management position that will allow me the opportunity to work with a group of project managers who are developing their own teams. Lori and I made a conscious decision to hold off starting our family until I was able to be home in the evening. The early part of my career I was required to be on construction sites, now I am able to work from the office or home.
Growing up: I am the oldest of three boys. I spent my early years living outside of Philadelphia before moving to the Midwest. My mother stayed home to raise the children as my father worked. Raising three boys on a single salary (even in the 70's and 80's) my parents didn't have a lot of disposable income. As a child I never even realized that we weren't "wealthy". I thought everybody wore hand me downs, went camping for vacation, and heated the house with a wood-burning stove. What my parents lacked financially was more than made up by the love they had for us and for each other.
Our dreams for the future...
We have learned a lot about ourselves and about how we will approach parenthood through the adoption process. By reading books, parenting classes and our one-on-one time during the home study, we feel that we have had time to plan how we will raise a child. We feel that every parent could benefit from the information that we have learned throughout the adoption process. Our child will always know their adoption stories and the wonderful way we became a family.
Lori's mother came across this poem several years ago and has held onto it since. She wanted to share it with us, and we agreed that it was important to share with you also. It says so much about how we feel about you and adoption as a whole. We both hope that it gives you some comfort now and always!
Legacy of an Adopted Child
Author Unknown
Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make your one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent, the other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide,
The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me through your tears
The age-old question through the years,
Heredity or environment-
Which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling-neither;
Just two different kinds of love.
We hope after reading this you have a better sense of who we are and how much we desire to be parents. We look forward to talking to you further and answering any questions you might have. If you would like to know more about us, talk with us by telephone, or meet us, in person, please let our attorneys, Steve and Joel Kirsh, know. You can reach them any time at 800-333-5736.
Thanks for reading this and take care,
