Dear Birth Mother,
Our names are Josh and Jonna, and we want to sincerely thank you for considering adoption and giving us this opportunity to explain why we need your help to reach our dreams of starting a family. For us, having children was never a question. We both came from wonderful, loving families who taught us the importance of faith and love, and we have dreamed for years of becoming parents to pass on that love. But so far, in nearly eight years of marriage, we’ve not been blessed with that opportunity. Hopefully, we’ve been led to you to give us that moment we’ve been longing for.
We can’t know what you are going through, but we can’t thank you enough for your courage. Whether it’s for us or some other lucky family, you should be commended because your decision will become the greatest gift you will ever give.
We’ll start with why we want to adopt your child. We started trying to have children in 2001. Our first pregnancy was an ectopic, meaning the fertilized egg didn’t make it to the uterus but was instead stuck in Jonna’s fallopian tube, endangering her life. Six months later, Jonna was again pregnant. During the pregnancy, I was reminded of how wonderful a mother Jonna will be. She did everything possible to make sure our baby would be healthy, including many hours spent researching what she could do to benefit the child. I just marveled at how much she cared even before our baby was born.
We were so happy, especially after the struggles of our first pregnancy. We looked at strollers, cribs and clothes. We began to set money aside to pay for a college education. We couldn’t wait until the ultrasound to get our first glimpse of our future baby. But that ultrasound would begin three months of turmoil leading up to the best and worst day of our lives.
Doctors were concerned with the length of our daughter’s arms in the initial ultrasound. More tests determined our daughter had a serious medical condition. Brina was born about 11 weeks premature. Doctors soon determined she faced other problems that gave her no chance to live. A few hours after our little angel came into this world, she was gone . We took comfort in the fact she was in heaven. We made it through this devastating moment in our lives thanks to the support of family and friends and our faith, and we realized God must have another plan for us.
After taking some time to regroup, we again tried to get pregnant. We were determined to have a child. Jonna had another ectopic pregnancy forcing doctors to remove her fallopian tubes. We tried in-vitro fertilization five times without success. We finally realized that we had lost sight of the forest for the trees. What we wanted was a baby. Because of courageous, loving women like you, we can realize our dream of having a baby through adoption.
All of our ups and downs have brought us to you. You are a special person for choosing to have this baby and help a family like ours who has no other hope without adoption. Jonna longs for the days when she and a little one can spend an afternoon messing up the kitchen as they make chocolate chip cookies, enjoy a quiet moment coloring a picture or sit down to play with toys. Josh, who is active in sports, can’t wait to have a child to play catch with, watch a football game with and tuck in after reading a bedtime story.
In order for you to get to know us a little better, here is how our journey together began. We were both pursuing business degrees at a university, but somehow during all of the lectures, studying and tests we also found each other. The first moment I saw Jonna, I knew she was special. I remember nudging my friend asking if he knew who she was when she walked into the classroom. Within the first few days, we happened to be paired up during a computer exercise. Her sense of humor was as attractive as her beauty. But as I got to know her during that semester, I realized this could be the person I would spend the rest of my life with.
We didn’t begin dating until the end of that semester, because it took me that long to get up the courage to ask her. As our relationship grew, I began to realize I had never met someone so warm and caring. Some of our most memorable times came during moments most people might consider routine, such as coloring Easter eggs, carving Halloween pumpkins or playing with my then-4-year-old cousin, Katie.
I graduated from school a semester before she did and started working more than an hour from campus. Living so far away was tough on both of us. We would see each other every weekend, but the weeks were hard. One particular weekend, I became ill, and she took care of me. She showed her love and caring touch as she wiped my forehead with a wet washcloth and comforted me with a light kiss on the cheek. That day I realized how wonderful a mother she would be, and that I wanted my future children to have such an amazing, compassionate woman they could call, “Mommy.”
The week before Christmas 1998, I finally mustered up the courage to plan a trip to Chicago to ask Jonna to marry me. I disguised the trip as a last opportunity to finish Christmas shopping for my family. She may have realized something was fishy when instead of going shopping I led her to a horse and carriage I had reserved. Cuddled underneath a blanket, the setting was more than I could have asked for. Christmas lights glimmered off Lake Michigan as I crouched to one knee and asked her to be my wife.
Josh is a sweetheart. For me, it all began as a good friendship that changed and evolved. He still is my best friend, my support, which I’ve needed for all the trials we’ve been through in trying to have a child. Since we’ve been married, our extended families have grown with the addition of 16 nieces and nephews. I see Josh interact with them. I love the way he plays. After visiting my sister one weekend, she called me and said her 3-year-old son kept talking about his friend, Josh. He kept going on and on about Josh. She started questioning him to find out if someone new had started preschool or if he met a new child in the neighborhood. It finally dawned on her he was talking about his Uncle Josh. I could tell you story after story like this about how he sits down to play and read to them. It became obvious he would make a great father.
We found during our marriage that our strengths meshed well together. Jonna is a practical and intelligent woman who loves to cook and spend time with family. Josh helps keep her grounded with his sense of humor and love for life. Our years together have been as much as any couple could ask for, and our love is stronger today then it’s ever been.
We have a nice home and good jobs. Jonna works as a corporate trainer and computer systems analyst for a global company. Her job allows her to work from home, when necessary. Josh is a reporter and writer at a large newspaper. We live in a beautiful two-story, four bedroom home in a quaint, but growing, suburban community. We moved to the community with future children in mind. We spent a lot of time investigating school districts to give our children the best education possible. We positioned ourselves in a wonderful neighborhood within walking distance of two elementary and two middle schools. Our subdivision is filled with children and includes a community swimming pool to enjoy during the summer. We also attend a large Christian church near our home that has provided us support as we’ve started pursuing adoption. Numerous families at our church have adopted which should offer another positive setting for your child.
We feel we have a lot to offer your child, including some of the same things our parents were able to offer us: a stable, loving home; the opportunity to participate in whatever interests the child; a college fund and the support of family and friends. We want to again thank you for considering us and truly believe God has brought us together in our times of need. If you do decide to give us the absolute pleasure of raising your child, we promise they will have all the love and support two people can possibly provide. Likewise, we would be happy to send you letters and photos letting you know how your child is getting along, if you wish.
If you would like to know more about us, talk with us by telephone, or even meet us in person, please let our attorneys, Steve and Joel Kirsh, know. You can reach them anytime at 800-333-5736.
God bless you,
