Dear Birthmom,
Hi! Thanks for taking the time to read our letter. We know that you have an extraordinary task in front of you, and we look forward to sharing as much as possible about us in the next few minutes.
Our names are Doyle and Kathy. We live in the Midwest in a community of around 12,000 people. We both have careers in education, although Kathy has put teaching on hold to be a stay-at-home mom. Doyle is an Assistant Principal at the local middle school. We met 10 years ago when Doyle interviewed for a teaching position at the high school, and Kathy was on the interview committee. Talk about hiring the right guy for the job! We have now been married for 9 years.
In the 2nd year of our marriage, we decided it was the right time to start a family. It sounded easy enough, but we didn't have much luck. A few months after a laparoscopy, we were pregnant and were very excited. Unfortunately, like riding a roller coaster, the higher you go up, the farther you fall. It is hard to put into words the disappointment we felt when we miscarried. Since that first miscarriage, we had another miscarriage and the stillbirth of our twin boys along the way. The devastation of the loss was worse than we ever imagined. With much support from family and friends and by the grace of God, we continued to press on. When we were both ready, we attempted IVF with a fertility specialist. It didn't work. We are finished with infertility procedures. We want to be parents way more than we want to be pregnant. We are so thankful that adoption offers us that chance.
That brings us to today and the absolute joy of our lives. We adopted our son, Luke Timothy, on September 7, 2007. We had no idea what changes were ahead for us, but knew that he would do nothing but enrich our lives. Luke is a bright-eyed, little guy who loves to laugh and play. He's a big guy, weighing in at 20 pounds at only 6 months of age. We're not sure if he'll be the center on the football team or a tuba player, but we are confident that great things are in store for him.
We are both blessed to have wonderful families and friends and saw the fruit of that when we arrived home with Luke from the hospital. We were greeted by over 20 people waiting to welcome him into the family and community. Friends from church brought meals for nearly a month to help us get adjusted to our new life. We think they also wanted to a chance to meet the "new kid in town".
Spending time with our families is high on our list of priorities. Doyle's parents and brother's family along with Kathy's parents, her brother's and 2 sister's families all live within 45 minutes of our home. We want our nieces and nephews, 12 in all, to know each other since we both remember fondly playing with our cousins growing up. The invitations go out in November for what is now known as "The Bowling Party". We take the kids bowling, and then they stay at our house after a night, and we do mean all night, of hide and go seek, Skipbo, Uno, Twister, and movie watching.
In June, both of our families met for Father's Day in our home, 26 people in all. It was "cozy" in our 3 bedroom ranch home, but the big room in the back makes for a great gathering space. It was a sight to see everyone standing in a circle holding hands as Doyle said Grace. Between the Bocce ball in the backyard, card games in the front room, and the surprise fire on the grill, it made for a lively day. It was great having everyone over, but we must admit that with each passing Mother's and Father's Day, our hearts had grown heavy wondering if we would ever be able to celebrate those holidays as a Mom and a Dad ourselves. This May and June will be a different story!
In our spare time, Doyle is an avid computer "geek". He loves to play games online as well as card games with Kathy and anyone who is willing to get in on the action. Doyle also plays on a baseball team in the summer. Games are one night a week, and it gives him a chance to relive the "glory days" and get some exercise. Kathy likes to read, play the piano, and enjoys listening to music while she takes long walks. She also still enjoys hitting the tennis courts every now and then just to keep her game up to par. Together, Doyle and Kathy enjoy traveling. From Florida to California, it's always nice to get away for awhile and see our beautiful country. Of course, we are staying close to home right now with Luke, but plan to have many adventures across the country in the future.
You may be wondering why we want to adopt another child when we are obviously so happy to have Luke in our lives. Both of us grew up with siblings, and we want the same for our children. Luke will be a great big brother for our new baby and we have more than enough love to share, not to mention one more bedroom! We both also think it's important to have siblings to keep you "in line". As Kathy's Dad so eloquently said, "Everyone needs someone to tell them when they're wrong." While the description is unusual, the wisdom behind it is enlightening. Of course, having a brother or sister when you are older is a pleasure and "built-in" friendships are great to have.
We firmly believe that all children belong to God and that He chooses parents to raise them. How exactly they arrive in a family varies a bit. You are making an amazing choice to give birth to your child. We fully understand that you had other options and chose life for this precious one. We applaud you for seeking the best future for your baby and know that it truly is a gift of love. We want you to feel confident that we are ready to offer another child a loving, caring home and an extended family that is excited to embrace another life.
Kathy could best be described as down to earth and practical. She is a devoted and faithful woman who is as loving and compassionate. The amount of love she showers on Luke lets me know how much she values staying home and raising him. We did not know how she would like not "working" for a living, but we would not have it any other way. Watching Kathy pour herself into creating a home with the same passion and energy she used to use while teaching is a joy to watch. She truly has a passion for motherhood. Her quiet personality is shown when she is out on a walk through the park with Luke. She has said on numerous occasions, "I can't believe people wish their child would grow up quicker. I want this to last forever." Her principal said it best, "We are sure losing a great teacher, but Luke is a lucky little boy." Kathy glows as a mother and will be a great mom to your child.
I love to laugh, and since I met Doyle it's what I've done most every day regardless of our circumstances. In the middle of our wedding ceremony, after we lit the unity candle, a slight breeze caused the flame to flicker a bit. At that solemn moment, Doyle leans over to me and says, "It would not be a good sign if it went out". His Mom tells the story of how one day, when Doyle was a child, he was walking around the house with a bottle spraying people. She told him to put that thing "up". He stopped and held the bottle above his head. She had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. His wisecracking ways make him a favorite among students, but they also know that he cares about them. Now that Doyle is a Dad, it is great to see him remain himself with Luke. It is amazing how Luke lights up when Doyle gets home from work. I will be holding him and maybe reading a book and Doyle comes around the corner and Luke giggles and squirms trying to get to Daddy. Doyle is also not afraid to be involved with our son. He gets up on weekends when a middle of the night feeding needs to happen and changes diapers like a pro. I guess that what I see is that people genuinely like Doyle. I love to watch one of our nieces sit and rub the top of his head (not much hair to get in the way) and just giggle as she snuggles with Uncle Doyle. He loves people and is not shy about telling them so.
As we look forward to adding to our family, it's exciting to dream of who our next child will be. What talents can we foster? What interests can we cultivate? We want our children to realize their potential while becoming loving, caring people with hearts of compassion for others. Through relationships with Sunday school classmates, to hanging out with cousins, there is much waiting here. Our favorite place is Disney World, and we can't wait to share that love with our children.
We know that reading a couple of pages about 2 people may not answer all of your questions, but hopefully it gives you a glimpse into who we are and what we're all about. If you would like more information about us, you can contact Steve and Joel at (800)333-5736. If you call after regular business hours, their answering service will page them and they will call you back as soon as possible. We would love to talk, or meet, with you at your convenience, if you like. We also are happy to send updates to you in the form of photos and letters of your child, if you wish. Please be assured that none of us want to pressure you into any decisions and that you are not obligated to proceed with an adoption by calling. We all want to provide you with the information you need to make a decision that you will be comfortable with.
Thanks again for reading our letter. We are thrilled about the possibility of having another child join our family.
Sincerely,
Doyle and Kathy
