Dear Birth Mom,
We are Al and Chris. We live in the country in the Midwest. Al is a technician for an international firm. Chris is a nurse at a hospital in the metropolitan area near our community. We are surrounded by family. Both of our mothers live nearby (our fathers have passed away), and Chris’s sister and her family live ten minutes from us.
When we first married, we thought it would be easy to get pregnant. After years of tests, treatments and procedures, we know it’s not the way we will create a family. Chris’s best childhood friend is adopted, and both of us have friends at work who have adopted babies. We know what a joy it can be to bring a child into your life through adoption. We admire your decision to choose life for your child. If we are the couple you select to parent your baby, we want to assure you that we will give your child a life filled with love, stability, and encouragement.
Al: I grew up the oldest of two children in a large Midwestern city. My dad and mom were great role models for my sister and me. They were loving and supportive, instilling in us right and wrong, and the importance of honesty. Through their example, they taught us responsibility and the importance of a strong work ethic. I loved sports and music as a kid, and both my mom and my dad spent many hours tossing me a baseball, playing ping pong with me, and cheering for me at my games and my violin concerts. My dad would take me fishing, teaching me to bait a hook, run the motor boat, and clean any fish we’d catch. I remember how special I felt when he took me to his favorite fishing spot, and we caught some of the biggest bluegill I’d ever seen. Boy, was I proud to bring those fish home! He was very patient with me, whether it was fishing or shooting baskets. We’d play game after game of H-O-R-S-E, and he’d let me win sometimes to build my confidence. Dad was always willing to teach us something new, but he would never push us into an activity we didn’t like.
My mom taught me to cook many of the vegetables that came from my dad’s garden. I remember one year that we had so many green beans and peas that I thought we’d never finish snapping all of them. She also taught me to wash and iron my own clothes. When I wasn’t so enthusiastic, she reminded me that she wasn’t going to be doing this chore for me all my life…a useful lesson for a young boy. She, too, was very patient. How else could she have managed to teach me to drive a stick shift? I remember jerking my way down a country road, with her in the passenger seat, counseling me to be more gentle with the accelerator for a smoother take off.
We’d take family vacations in our station wagon, loading it up with camping and fishing gear. We’d play board games and cards in the evening, enjoying our time together as a family. I can’t wait to share the outdoors with my child. I can’t think of a better time to talk about life than sitting in a boat on a quiet lake waiting for the fish to bite.
Biking is one of my favorite activities. Id love to hit the trails with our child.
My favorite time of the year was — and still is — Christmas. I was always so excited, anticipating Santa’s arrival, dreaming about the gifts he’d bring. Mom and Dad would always take us on a tour of decorated houses. And we’d go downtown to look at the store windows, shop, and eat out. On Christmas Eve, we’d go to church for the candle light service, and I couldn’t wait to get home and go to bed. I didn’t want Santa to skip my house because I was up too late. On Christmas morning, I’d get up really, really early to open presents. Then we’d spend the day, playing with our gifts, with my parents helping me put together Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, or a new erector set. It seemed there was always a science kit of some type. I want my child to have this kind of holiday experience: the excitement and wonder of Santa Claus and the spiritual richness of the holiday.
My father died about a year ago. I know my mom must miss him a lot. I know I do. Chris and I make sure that we talk to her often and get together with her regularly. She can’t wait to have a new grandbaby to cuddle.
I spent four years training for my work as a technician. A lot of my work is administrative now, but I’m proud of the technical skills I acquired through training and on-the-job experience. I handle scheduling, work orders, day-to-day trouble shooting, and work with the corporate engineers, as needed. I’m good at fixing things. Chris says that I’m always tinkering with my truck — and she’s got a point. I recently moved the running boards up an inch and a half (I promise, it looks better that way), and I went on a serious search for new wheels and tires. When I found exactly the right set, I was pretty pleased that I also got a great deal on them.
I met Chris through mutual friends, on a blind date. We talked on the telephone a number of times before we went on our first date, bowling. Chris was so nervous, she could hardly bowl. I was smitten with her. I couldn’t get over her blue eyes, red hair, and warm smile. She was so easy to talk to, and we had a lot in common. We went to the same church, although we hadn’t met each other there. We both love animals. She is so open with her feelings, sharing her affection and enthusiasm with the people she loves. She’s strong and supportive. I know she’ll be a great mom. Her tenderness and giving nature will be so nurturing to a child.
Chris and I like to work on our house together. When it was being built, we decided to try laying the hardwood floor in the living room by ourselves. Chris carefully sorted through the boards, picking out which board to lay where, while I concentrated on staggering the ends to look just right. The work crew working on the rest of the house thought we were nuts; they told us to just hammer down the boards as they came out of the box. But that isn’t our way.
I grew up with horses and can't wait to introduce our child to riding.Chris: My immediate family is bigger than Al’s. I am the fourth of five children. I grew up in the country, not far from where Al took all those camping trips with his family. We lived on 32 acres with horses, dogs, and cats. We used to all pitch in on the chores. My mom had a garden that my sister, Liz, and I helped with. Mom let me have my own little garden patch, where I planted snapdragons, and learned to care for them. My dad worked as a firefighter, so he would work 24 hours straight and then be home for 48 hours. My mom was a nurse. She worked nights when I was young and day shifts, as a unit manager, when I was older.
There are 12, 10, and 8 years difference between my brother, two older sisters and me. My younger sister, Liz, and I are less than two years apart. Liz and I had horses when we were growing up. My horse’s name was Feather, and she had a mind of her own. If I wasn’t paying enough attention, she’d take off for the barn. Once, during a 4-H show, she followed some other horses into the middle of the arena, and wouldn’t leave, in spite of my urging — in front of 100 spectators. It wasn’t our best moment together. But, we did have some great times. Liz and I would ride on the trails of a nearby state park, accompanied by our dogs. I remember one day when we got off our horses to pick raspberries and brought them home for dessert. That is the kind of memories we hope to create for your child – the ones which last a lifetime.
One of my best memories of a family vacation was our trip to Florida. We visited Disney World, swam in the ocean, and watched the sailboats from our condo. What made it especially memorable was our transportation. We drove there in my dad’s truck. He and Mom rode in the cab and Liz and I rode in the bed, on a twin mattress, in a refrigerator box. Another great memory, but our child will ride inside with a seat belt!
When I was in sixth grade, I had a slumber party. My friends and I decided that we would hunt for Big Foot. So we got flashlights and headed outside, arms linked around each other. My mom came along behind us. As we crashed through the briars and marched up and down the ravines, we heard animal-like screams. We thought it might be Dad, but we were still scared. We were sure there were two separate voices. We finally found my big brother hiding under a pine tree, but we never found the second voice. We ran back to the house, and there was Dad, sitting in his chair, looking like he hadn’t moved all night. 
We love pets. Our Kona and our two cats,
Cleo and Charlie are very child friendly.My friends and I had hot chocolate and went to bed, still not sure where that second voice came from.
My parents taught me to be self-reliant, how to change a tire, drive a manual transmission, mow the lawn — get through life’s everyday chores independently. My dad emphasized the importance of saving money, and that’s a lesson I’m glad I learned. My parents were able to offer college tuition to each of their kids. Al and I are saving to ensure that our child can get the best education that he or she desires.
My mom, my sisters, and I get together frequently. We go to dog shows, antiquing, to the State Fair, and to each other houses to spend an afternoon or an evening. Every year there’s a family reunion. We usually go to a state park. It’s really fun to get together will all of our aunts, uncles, cousins, and their kids. We play volleyball, hike, eat, and talk for hours on end.
It was a great way to grow up — in the woods, with family pets and friendly neighbors. That’s why I was so happy when Al agreed to live in the country. We want to raise our child as I was raised, picking berries, playing in our woods, building self-confidence through discovery and exploration.
I’ve always loved animals. Al and I both volunteer at our local humane society. We have a dog, Kona, who is great with our two cats, Cleo and Charlie. Kona is very patient with the cats. When they bop him on the head or wash his ears, he just takes it in stride. He loves kids, and whenever my nieces and nephews come over, he jumps up on the ottoman and spins around in excitement. They think that’s hilarious.
I knew that Al was the man I would marry when my dog, Cody, got sick. I was working nights then, and I didn’t want to leave Cody alone. Al agreed to stay with Cody at night, in case he needed help. When Cody died, Al was there to hold and comfort me. I couldn’t believe how compassionate and caring he was. He’s a true partner. We enjoy doing things together around the house, whether it’s finishing the bathroom in our basement or cooking. He is great at getting me to relax, and he watches over me. I know that he’ll be a wonderful father. 
We live in a beautiful and close-knit neighborhood with lots of children. He is easy going, kind, and incredibly supportive. He is so enthusiastic about the things he enjoys, and he can’t wait to share them with his child. We both deeply value family, and Al is always ready to help out any member of either of our families, and our friends.
Al and Chris: We share a lot of interests. We enjoy working on home projects. This year we put in our first garden. We can’t wait to garden with our child, planting, weeding, and picking the vegetables and flowers. We take long walks with Kona, go to auctions, and bowl. We enjoy getting together with our families and we enjoy going to Chris’ niece’s and nephew’s games. We have many neighbors and friends with kids, and it will be wonderful when we can watch our child in neighborhood activities, like holiday celebrations and riding bikes together. Al loves to ride his bicycle on the country roads near our home, and once a year he goes on a weekend-long ride with friends. He also enjoys playing golf a couple times a year. Chris has taken up piano in the last couple years. When she plays, Kona howls. She loves to go to garden stores with her mom and sisters in the spring, and always brings home way too many plants. She loves needle crafts, taught to her by her mom, especially during the winter in front of the fire.
We live in a three-bedroom home on 10-acres of land, down a mile-long road with twelve houses on it. There are children in almost all the houses on our road. We both love our home. We particularly like its big windows. When the blinds are up, it’s always like being outside. We have a doe that comes to visit with two fawns, and we love to watch them playing in our yard. We have a porch swing which is perfect for reading a book or just talking. The downstairs is a recreation room, with a ping pong table and a pool table that used to belong to Al’s dad. Our community is small, with good schools and a beautiful, new library with the largest collection in the county. We aren’t far from a major metropolitan area with all the cultural resources of a city.
We want to add a child to our lives. We want to encourage your child to find his or her passions. We look forward to art projects at the kitchen table, making music, with Chris at the piano, Al on the violin, and the baby thumping on kitchen pots or singing along. We want to cheer your child at sports event, school assemblies, and when he or she first rides a bike. We want to read books together, snuggle on the couch, and chase each other in the yard. We will teach by example, encouraging honesty, compassion, integrity, and love.
We promise to raise your child with respect for your courageous decision and appreciation for the love you have shown in making it. If you want, we will keep you updated on your child’s growth and development through pictures and letters.
If you have any questions for us, please feel free to contact our attorneys, Steve and Joel Kirsh, at 1-800-333-5736. No one will try to pressure you into a decision. We want you to have all the information you need.
Warm regards,
