A Personal Message from Rhonda
To Prospective Birth Mothers
What I really wanted was to have the baby and be a mom. I wanted to be a parent. I think just like most women who are pregnant and make a decision to carry the pregnancy. I think it surprises people. It wasn’t about not wanting to do that. It was about realizing that I just wasn’t capable of it at that point in time. It wasn’t that I didn’t want the baby or that I didn’t want to be a mom or that I didn’t want to parent. I just couldn’t do it. Even after all of these years and now having a family and hopefully being a little more mature, it is still the most difficult decision and the most heart wrenching. I think it was hard to know, at the age that I was, with the education that I had, I just wasn’t capable. I could not possibly give a baby everything it needed to have. Steve Kirsh has said that had I chosen to parent Zach he would have been just fine. We still disagree on that. I explain to Steve that it takes so much more than just the desire to be a mom. It takes much more than wanting to be a parent. I had all the desire in the world. I had all the love that I needed to have. I just didn’t have the maturity. I knew that I would not be able to come home at the end of a long day and be the kind of mom that I am now. Also, I think it was really hard for people to understand that I really wanted the baby to have two parents. I really wanted Zach to have a dad. I wanted him to have a stable, happy environment and at that time in my life, that wasn’t going to be with me.
- Rhonda
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